Things I wish I had known as an NQT - Parent's Evenings.

Things I wish I had known as an NQT

Parents’ Evenings.

Now, before I start I had an admission to make.  Over the years I must have done several dozen of these evenings but have never known whether I have attended Parent’s Evenings or Parents’ Evenings.  Any answers in the comment’s box below would be very grateful.

Some staff are naturally good when meeting parents.  Having watched these staff over years I have honed a list of strategies that I keep religiously to now to ensure I work as successfully as I can with parents to ensure we both do our best for the students.

 Thank them for coming

This might seem a stupid thing to say but always show your appreciation that they have chosen to come and see you.  The parents may have had to take time off work or arrange childcare for a younger child so bear that in mind.  Of course, parents should take an interest in their child’s education but a simple thank you goes a long way to getting the conversation off to a good start.

Additionally, you are likely to be running late so apologise for this!

Introduce yourself.

Don’t assume the child will have told the parents your name.  If you are lucky they will know you are their child’s maths teacher.  I always let the parents know my first name and surname as I would find it strange an adult calling me “Sir”. 

Make sure you know who the child is.

I am terrible at names so have to make a concerted effort to learn each student’s name and then test myself on their names regularly.  A level of difficulty is added to this when you meet parents in the evening as students often don’t wear school uniform and you will not believe how different students look in their normal clothes!

I always ensure I have the parent’s name written down on my appointment sheet (I normally have to track them down from the school computer system) to ensure I get their name correct.

Start off with positive news

You must ensure you are able to share some positive news with the parent about each child you teach.  With some students it will be harder than others but you must ensure you can share good news with each parent.

Look at your data - refer to homework.

It is important to be organised.  I always ensure I have my planner up to date and I always refer to the student’s attendance at this point.  Also, I refer to the student’s success with homework.  Homework can lead to quite heated discussions so it is important to control the conversation.

If the student has done little or no homework since the start of September some parents will ask you, “Why am I just finding out now?”  This is a good question so if you see patterns of homework not being completed either follow the department policy, which is hopefully a centrally coordinated letter sent home, or if not simply phone home to pass on your concerns.

If homework is an issue, make sure you have a solution up your sleeve.  The most effectives ones I have found are for you to say

a.       I am happy to email a copy of the homework to you each week.

b.       I am more than happy to be available every week on a Tuesday after school to help with  homework.

These solutions will give this part of the conversation a positive outcome.

Raise any issues

Now, and only now, I will raise any concerns I may have.   If you raise the concerns any earlier you may not have the parent on your side but if you have followed my checklist you should find that the parent is happy to work with you.

Don’t personalise any behaviour concerns.  E.g. Don’t share, “His behaviour is poor and he often shouts out / talks over me” etc. 

 Link it into learning and say,

“He has a habit of shouting out / talking over me which prevents the rest of the class, and him, from hearing what I have to save.  I know you are not a selfish person but this can look like quite selfish behaviour.  All you have to do is put your hand up and I will be more than happy to call on your at the appropriate time.  If we can’t nip this in the bud I am worried about the effect it will have of everyone’s progress”.

You will normally then get a positive conversation with the parent.

The other phrase I tend to use is…

“I don’t know if you see this at home but…”

I tend to use this for more serious incidents of behaviour.  For example,

“I don’t know if you see this at home but I find he tends to answer me back sarcastically quite a lot and this hinders his learning”.   I have never had a parent contradict me at this point.  If a student is being rude at school, their parents will have seen the behaviour at home.

Try not to dwell on the negative though.  Raise it, and move on.

 Academic steps

For students who misbehave regularly their academic progress will be enhanced by behaving.  However, you will see many parents whose students behave appropriately.  Make sure you have an academic suggestion as to how they can move forward.  It may be something very simple as learning their multiplication tables thoroughly or mastering a particular topic they found difficult on a recent test.  Highlight any online support the student can access and say they are welcome to come and see you after school to go through it.

Target grades

      It is very important that you know what grade the student is currently working at and what their forecast grade is. Whether this is for the end of the year or the end of the GCSE course will probably be determined by school policy.  More importantly, you should be able to point to work the student can complete to raise their attainment.  This is probably the most important part of your conversation so make sure you know what each student needs to do next to move forward.  Ideally, you should also give them a structure in which they can achieve it e.g. using online resources etc.

Thank the parents.

Thank the parents for coming and ask if they have anything they want to raise.  It is important to try and keep on time as you will have more appointments waiting so try to avoid too much pointless chit chat.  I have found, occasionally hat I have had to stand up and say “Thanks for coming”.  Most parents get the hint at this point….

The aggressive parents

Very, very occasionally, you get parents who just want an argument.  For whatever reason their child has managed to convince the parent that you are useless and the child has been very hard done by and it is all your fault.

As you gain experience you will be able to solve most of these issues on your own by sticking to the checklist above.  However, as soon as you see this coming explain to the parents that you would like to get the HoD or someone senior to sit in on the discussion to be able to deal with their complaints directly.

Obviously, the senior person is being invited to the meeting for your support and they should be able to lead the meeting to a satisfactory conclusion.

Best of luck and let me know how it goes!